Sun, 03 May 2026 09:02:26 -0400WeeblyThu, 21 Jul 2016 16:38:33 GMThttp://home2healdist.com/blog/the-real-womans-guide-to-getting-a-good-nights-sleep
 
Many people suffer the occasional bout of insomnia. I am one of them.  I am fortunate though, that it happens for me very rarely.
Many studies have been conducted and articles written on the subject of how to combat simple sleep trouble. The tips provided are well documented and many actually work. BUT…I have developed my own list of tips for insomnia.  Many, many years of casual “research” have gone into this project, and I have a long list of women friends who have unknowingly contributed to my study (I will not name them, because I don’t want to pay them…love ‘em to death, but money is money, so…).  That said, following is a lighthearted, non-scientific, poorly proven and potentially dangerous guide for the average woman to get the rest she needs to get through her day.
 
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SMALL CHILDREN
Find some children, but be sure to ask first if they don’t belong to you.  Make certain that they are under the age of 6 and the more of them the better.  Children have an innate ability to make messes, damage possessions, terrorize pets and throw a general fall on the floor hissy fit for absolutely no reason whatsoever.  Follow these little fellows around for at least a couple of hours close to bedtime and I can almost guarantee that by the time you get them to bed, you will drop into your own and be out before the first one yells “I need a drink of water”.  Here’s a tip:  If your insomnia is REALLY bad, include a meal into your “playtime”. You will get the double bonus of having to scrape mac and cheese off of the floor/table/wall AND you get to give them a bath!
 
GET A PUPPY
Not just any puppy…a BIG puppy.  I myself, have opted for a German Shepherd with separation anxiety.  Between feedings, rescuing the cat, taking inventory of the shoes with minimal chew damage that might still be worn, not to mention potty breaks, sweeping up massive amounts of hair, and repeating the phrases “NO!” “DROP IT!” and “LEAVE HIM ALONE” at least 50 times a day, the puppy will be just the remedy you need to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion…as soon as you can get HIM to fall asleep in his own bed.  Warning…whining will ensue.  Maybe his, maybe yours…it can go either way. 
 
GET OLD
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING will help you fall asleep faster than getting old.  You will fall asleep in front of the television, at your desk, in the doctor’s office, at the movies, talking to your husband.  It really doesn’t matter.  I used to believe that this was the body’s defense mechanism to prevent me from having to deal with bad TV, paperwork, pap smears and Adam Sandler movies, but it really wasn’t. I was just “old”.  The experts say not to take naps.  Yeah, right.  If you’re old and you wanna take a nap, then take a nap.  I doubt very seriously if it is going to prevent you from sleeping when bedtime rolls around.   If it does, then just limit your naps to two a day.
 
 HATE YOUR JOB
There is precious little that is more satisfying than lying in bed at night thinking about how to quit your job.  If done correctly, you will lull yourself to sleep fantasizing about ways to resign, and the number of dastardly evils that you hope will befall those who made you hate it in the first place.  Bosses, co-workers, traffic…Don’t limit yourself.  Dream BIG – think lottery.  As they say, “somebody’s gotta win, why not you?’  By combining these two fantasies – telling management to “shove it” and being financially secure enough to do so, you will soon be hugging your pillow and reminding yourself to check those numbers tomorrow.
 
INVITE FRIENDS/FAMILY TO YOUR HOME
This is a no brainer. After cleaning, shopping, cooking, decorating and worrying whether Uncle Bob is going to share his political opinions that will tick off half your guests, you will soon be silently praying for these people to please just go home so you can curl up and forget why you invited this many people to your home in the first place.  Try your best to clean up as much as possible before you hit the hay, so you won’t lie there thinking about the sorry individual who ground that cheese puff into your carpet..and…just…walked…away.
 
GET A FAN  (NOT A FANATIC – AN ELECTRIC FAN)
Turn off the lights, turn on the fan and pretend it’s the ocean waves at low tide.  Seriously, you have a job, a family, a mortgage and pets.  Do you think you can just pack up and go to the ocean?  Silly woman.  This is the next best thing, though. No…I don’t buy it either, but I gave it a shot.
And Finally:
WINE
I don’t think there is really much that needs to be explained here.
 
As I stated very firmly at the beginning of this post.  These are merely fun little musings and not to be taken as gospel to resolve your insomnia.  If you truly have that problem, talk with your physician and let him make some REAL suggestions that might work for you.
 
I wish you peace, tranquility and 8 hours of restful sleep.

]]>Mon, 18 Jul 2016 21:01:37 GMThttp://home2healdist.com/blog/the-good-old-days Twenty five years ago did anyone really spend a whole lot of time thinking about their mattress?  Seriously, twenty five years ago all that was on the average adult’s mind was how to get their hands on that great big window to the world that was the personal computer.  It promised to open their eyes to EVERYTHING the universe had to offer, all at the touch of a few keys…and the sharp upswing in  instances of eye strain, headache and back spasms. Remember people, this was before laptops and tablets.  You SAT and you stared, and you SAT and stared some more. Transfixed in your pursuit of information that didn’t require a trip to the local library.  Everything you needed was all RIGHT HERE!
Eventually though, it occurred to you that all that sitting, and staring was having an effect on your sleeping habits.  But it was hard to get to sleep knowing that there was so much more you wanted to research on your new hardwired implement of instant knowledge.  So you tossed and you turned, and you laid there trying to stretch out that back cramp….and the next morning you typed the word “MATTRESS” in the search engine, and it opened your eyes to about two dozen different mattresses you had never heard of, made out of stuff that would make your mama’s eyes roll up in her head!  Thus, the struggle AND the opportunity, had become real to find the right sleep surface to make your life better.
Before the advent of the aforementioned electronic salesman, the average consumer’s choices were typically limited to what was on the showroom floor of the local furniture store.  You dragged, bleary eyed, into the store, and there they all were!  Those great big white rectangles of solitude!  The store lights shining brightly down on them in all their glory, and a dark suited salesman with too many teeth, beckoning you to climb aboard and take one for a spin.  You had maybe three brands and of those three brands, perhaps three models to choose from.  That would be firm, super firm and morgue slab. The fancier stores also offered the “PILLOWTOP” mattress, which automatically made you better than your neighbors just by having them watch from their windows as it was being delivered to your front door.  So after flopping down, big dirty shoes and all, on your first target, bouncing around a couple of times, inviting your spouse to do the same thing, then moving on to the next, you huddled together for about 3 minutes and made your decision.  Paid for it, had it delivered to your home…and three months later wondered what kind of spell the salesman used on you to compel you pick out this torture device.
I know this because I was about 30 years old at the time, and before I knew it, my then husband and I purchased a KING sized innerspring mattress that the toothy salesman promised would give us the best sleep we ever had.  He was so good in his pitch that it never occurred to us until it was delivered, that the bed was about the same size of the bedroom we were going to put it in.   We now had a wall-to-wall slab of mattress ticking and springs that would follow us around for the next 15 years. Yes, 15 long years.
I tell this sad tale of woe if only to remind you that you have many, many more choices than we had at the time…and because we had no access to instant information, we relied solely upon a commissioned salesperson who’s likely goal was not our comfort, but making his car payment that month.
 It’s up to you, restless sleepers!  You have so many factors to consider in making a proper selection of where you spend one third of your life.  Health conditions, sleep patterns, body temperature,  and lifestyle all play a huge role in what mattress works best for you.  So my advice, take your time, research ALL of the options, visit a BIG showroom and tell the salesperson you are “just looking” so they will leave you alone, and most important, don’t just sit on the edge of the bed and bounce a couple of times.  Unless you plan to sleep sitting up, this is not a good indicator for how the mattress will feel when you lay flat on it for 6-8 hours. Spend at least 10 minutes lying on the surface, find your normal sleep position and stay there.  Will people look at you?  Probably, but they aren’t spending a month’s pay on a mattress, so it’s really not their call.
Most important…do NOT buy a mattress that day.  Pick a couple that you like, then go home and read about them.  Read the reviews, read about the features, read EVERYTHING you can find about your selections.  Then go back a few days later and try them again.  You will be much more informed and a lot less likely to make a bad decision.

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